For many of us, looking for a therapist can be daunting. And even if we’re ready to start looking, you may not know where to begin. If you’re feeling nervous or unsure, you’re not alone. Many people who begin exploring therapy in Toronto worry about what the first session will be like and whether it will actually help.

At Horizon Therapy, we hear these concerns often. In this article, I will explain some of the most common fears that prevent people from seeking therapy and offer a supportive roadmap to help you find the best therapist for you.

Putting the Fear into Words

Complex emotions:

The first reason that therapy can feel so scary is that therapy can bring forth complex emotions and heavy memories from the past. This is a very common and reasonable fear to hold. The reality is that we may not be fully ready to process wounds from the past.  

  • During your initial consultation, you can communicate to your therapist that you are nervous, and the pace you’re comfortable working with. In other words, if you ever feel like you’re diving too quickly into past wounds, you’re always able to slow things down. 

Cultural narrative:

Therapy can also be intimidating due to the cultural narrative around it. Throughout our lives, we’ve been exposed to news headlines or movies we grew up with that may have subconsciously made us believe that therapy is for “weak or crazy” people. Moreover, once we add in factors like masculinity, patriarchy, individualism, self-reliance, and culture, it’s no wonder that many of us struggle to ask for help. 

  • Often, asking for help is the scariest part of the entire journey, as many of us need to work through shame. (E.g., “What if therapy confirms that something is wrong with me?”) Rest assured that this is a totally normal experience to have, and that seeing a therapist doesn’t mean that you’re broken or weak! In fact, having the strength to commit to your own mental wellbeing (despite these barriers) shows that you’re a strong person, capable of proactive change.   

History of Harm:

Another factor (frequently not brought up) is the history of harm within the profession. Given that the science behind psychotherapy has been constantly evolving over the past decades, some therapists throughout history have used unethical means to ‘help’ people. For instance, conversion therapy was once thought of as an ethical way to “fix” people’s sexual orientation. 

  • This is a big stain on the profession, which is why many therapists choose to sweep this topic under the rug. However, modern therapists should be comfortable discussing the historical harms in the profession to ensure they do not repeat them. 
  • During your initial consultation, don’t be afraid to talk to your therapist about any fears you hold about therapy. This is also a good time to ask about safety throughout the therapy experience. 

What to Look for When Choosing a Therapist

  • Match/Suitability
    • The evidence shows that the most important factor in successful therapy is how you feel when meeting your therapist. In other words, when looking for a therapist, prioritize connection over specific therapy modalities (like Cognitive Behavioural Therapy). 
  • Culture, Gender, Age, and Other Factors
    • Some clients prefer to work with therapists who hold a similar background or lived experience to them. Alternatively, some clients intentionally look for a therapist from a different background to hear different perspectives. 
  • Credentials
    • Pay attention to your therapist’s education, and whether they have proper accreditation with a governing College like the OCSWSSW or the CRPO.

When thinking about starting therapy in Toronto, it can help to know that it’s not about having all the answers, but about having a supportive space to talk at your own pace.

Finally, I recommend booking a free consultation to determine if a therapist will be a good match for you!

Questions to ask your therapist during the initial consultation:

  • What is your experience working with clients who deal with [your main challenge]?
  • What is your approach to therapy?
    • Structured vs. open ended
    • Non directive vs directive
    • Exploration or psychodynamic based vs. homework and other practical tools
    • Trauma informed lens
    • Neurodiversity affirming 
  • What are sessions usually like? 

Pay attention to how you feel during the consultation. Notice whether you feel heard, understood, and comfortable sharing your thoughts. These feelings can be a good cue as to whether the therapist is the right fit for you. 

FAQ

Is it normal to feel nervous about starting therapy?

Yes. Many people feel anxious, uncertain, awkward, or emotionally vulnerable before starting therapy, especially if it’s their first experience. It’s common to worry about being judged, not knowing what to say, becoming emotional, or whether therapy will actually help. These feelings are very normal and often become easier once the process begins.

What happens during the first therapy session?

The first therapy session is usually focused on getting to know you, understanding what brings you to therapy, discussing goals, and helping you feel more comfortable with the process. You do not need to have everything figured out before starting. Many people begin therapy simply knowing they feel overwhelmed, stuck, anxious, disconnected, or emotionally exhausted.

Do I need to be in crisis to start therapy?

No. People seek therapy for many different reasons, including stress, anxiety, burnout, relationship issues, self-esteem concerns, perfectionism, grief, life transitions, emotional overwhelm, or wanting better self-understanding. Therapy can be helpful both during difficult periods and as a form of ongoing personal growth and support.

What if I don’t know how to talk about my feelings in therapy?

You do not need to be “good” at talking about emotions to benefit from therapy. Many clients start therapy feeling unsure how to express themselves or disconnected from their feelings altogether. A therapist can help guide conversations gently and at a pace that feels manageable and emotionally safe.

Where do you offer therapy, is it in Toronto and online across Ontario?

Yes. Horizon Therapy offers therapy in Toronto and virtually across Ontario for individuals navigating anxiety, stress, burnout, relationship challenges, life transitions, emotional overwhelm, and uncertainty about beginning therapy. Therapists aim to create a supportive, collaborative, and non-judgmental environment from the very first session.

What if I start therapy and realize I don’t connect with my therapist?

The relationship between therapist and client is one of the most important parts of effective therapy. Sometimes it takes time to build trust, and sometimes a therapist may not feel like the right fit. A good therapist will generally welcome honest conversations about the therapeutic relationship and support you in finding care that feels safe, helpful, and aligned with your needs. If it does not feel like the right match, you can schedule another consultation with a therapist at Horizon Therapy or another clinic until you find a therapist that feels most comfortable for you to talk with.

Final Thoughts

Looking for a therapist can be scary – and that totally makes sense! If fear has been holding you back, finding therapy in Toronto that feels safe, relational, and pressure-free can be an important first step toward feeling more grounded, supported, and right for you. 

About the Author

Hi, I’m Glen Zheng – an MSW Intern at Horizon Therapy. I hold a Bachelor of Arts in Philosophy from Simon Fraser University and am pursuing my Master of Social Work at the University of Toronto. Helping people navigate complex challenges related to cultural identity, immigration, ADHD, autism, attachment, life transitions, and trauma, I apply an approach that is compassionate, client-centered, and at your pace. My goal as a therapist is to help you live life your way. Outside of the clinic, I enjoy exploring the backcountry, listening to music, and playing board games.